Take

& as it is, there is deafening silence, echoing roars & what have you.

There is a place; he'll be there & so will you.
There are many places;
Underneath that billowing wind;
Underneath the ground;
In the midst of rose petals, where the sun never sets
& the trees always dance.

Where there is always work to be done;
Those sounds of machina.

There will always be that place,
where the sound of children's laughter mixes in with her words
& those sounds of machina to offset the chaos.

There will always be that place;
He, nor she can take that.

Stone

I hold this stone.
This stone is weathered,
Beaten over countless hours by an unrelenting mother.

I carry this stone.
A charm, sentiment;
An idea.

I feel the groove my thumb has left on this stone.
It has been with me through suffering;
Therefore, it must also suffer if it is to join me.

I look at this stone.
I kiss this stone.
This sediment that once helped bear life,
Now stares blankly back at me.

It waits.
I imagine it smiles.

I am no stone.
When I see this stone, I understand it is something I will never be:

Eternal, wise, unbreakable.
& so it is.

The stone.

3rd Avenue

3rd avenue.  Old, decrepit people fill the sidewalk. NYU kids on the corner filming some shitty short.
It's windy. Warm. I'm wearing a goddamn skullcap. I'm on my way to see the beginning & the end. That one. All I eat is fucking bananas. Coffee. Booze. Bananas. Repeat. I haven't showered in nearly a week. Haven't brushed my teeth for longer. Haven't had a break. Respite is for suckers. 3:17. 3:17. 3:17. 3:17. It's 3:17 on 3rd avenue.

Indecisive Madness

In a park. It's beautiful out. The sun is shining brilliantly, bursting through the  canopies of the trees.
Their slow waltz with the wind makes the rays of sunlight dance on her lips.
They remain beautiful, but what words they are forming send pain from my throat down into my chest. Swallow. Gaze. I watch those lips read. The sun & the wind continue their slow waltz.
These words are clear. I understand them, although I wish I didn't.
Loss. Endurance. In indecision lies madness.

For you

Allow me to take your hand;
Soft, small, strong & weathered.

It is for all of those times that I should have;

To validate the help we gave one another.

In that beginning, mired in juniper;

In that beginning, fraught & frantic;

In that beginning, where the fledgling seed was planted, only to blossom into the laurel that begged for Apollo's hand.

In this new beginning, I will bellow my love for you that bounds from building to building in this harsh city.

With or without you.

In this place

It's hard to remember.

In this place,
In this place.

The sensation is overwhelming;
It burns in your chest over old wounds inflicted in the same fashion.
The scar tissue builds, and you rip it in two.

Suck in the sulphuric odour that emanates from this place.

The same place where she sleeps;
The same place where this voice whispers;
The same place where a river of amber liquid flows freely.

In this place,
In this place.

Voluminous gaze, envelop me in your sure embrace;
Hourglass, allow me to hold you,
turn you,
use you in all of my selfish ways.

Godly sun, reveal yourself to be the bastard that you are.

In this place,
In this place.

There is so much to feel here,
yet it is convoluted and dark.

My eyes are closed.

It cuts like a knife;
It bleeds.
Freely, it moves;
Loosely, I walk.

Why, in such moments of mediocrity,
the everyday passage, is what you see,
but a grasp of what is?

Loosely, I hold this;
Like sand, it runs freely through the cracks
of my fingers.

Like blood, it is thick.

Like most things, it is misunderstood.